The Procrastination Files
by Irishfae
Summary: An ongoing collection of oneshot fics based on random songs. Pairings found within: 1&2, 3&4 and 5&6.
1. Yarmouth Town

A/N: This is the original procrastination file and the first song to get twisted is _Yarmouth Town_by Great Big Sea. The tune is a traditional/folksong, but the story is based off of the GBS version because I didn't have the heart to make Quatre, well... you'll see. I'm a little vague on when I'm allowed to post lyrics, but both original and the GBS versions are easily found in a quick Google search. Pairings 3&4, implied 1&2 and super secret implied 5&6

Note: Not officially bete'd, but I hopefully caught the horrific mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own GW or the songs the stories the fics are based off of. 

**Yarmouth Town**

The sea was as smooth as glass when we finally made it to port. In fact, there was no wind blowing by the time we set foot on land for leave. I was ready to be off the ship and desperately wanted a good meal that didn't contain any fish or citrus fruit.

The first tavern I stumbled upon, The Sandrock, looked warm and inviting and I decided that I really didn't need to look any more for a place to eat, since I could also rent a room to enjoy a night in a bed and not a hammock. My stomach growled and I pushed the door open and walked in.

If I thought I was hungry before walking in, it was now unbearable. The smell of savory meat roasting over fires and fresh baked bread filled the air, along with the tangy, pungent smell of ale. I spied a single open seat at the bar and made my way there.

As I sat down a handsome middle aged man greeted me. "Welcome, what can I get you?" He asked me over the din of the full tavern.

"A pint of your best ale and whatever you would recommend to eat. I haven't had a decent meal in a year, so I am willing to spoil myself."

He winks. "I had my fair share of being out to sea for months on end. I'll get you something good to eat. But while you wait, he is a pint of our best ale." He fills a thick walled mug and slides it the short distance to me. I take a sip, and when the rich amber liquid hits my tongue, I close my eyes and down the rest. It was delicious. Criminally so, in fact.

"Another?" Someone asked me and I looked at them, then proceeded to choke on the ale that I hadn't swallowed yet. The middle age man was replaced with a golden haired god with a fair complexion and beautiful blue eyes. He grinned as I choked and reached for my mug with a questioning look. I nodded weakly while coughing. "You ok?" He asked as he put a now full mug in front of me.

"Yes." I barely got out. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to function if he remained within eye sight.

"Good." The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile and it took all I had not to zero in on his perfect lips. _I bet he is a fantastic kisser._my poor neglected libido commented. Being out to sea for months at a time was more than straining. And the only good looking men on board were the captain and first mate, which meant that they were very off limits.

The captain was a shrewd and ruthless business man, and we made an amazing amount of money. The first mate just seemed to hate everyone except the captain and they both talked about the girls back home, so I easier to just not think about it. Better that way.

"I'm Quatre. My old man owns the place. Just let me know if you need anything. I'll bring your food out in a few."

_Would 'you' count as anything?_ I couldn't remember the last time I ate something, and the ale was working a little faster than I would like. "I'm Trowa."

I downed the freshly filled mug and watched the gorgeous blond, but got caught when he turned to help the person sitting next to me. He smiled, a twinkle in his eyes and I got the feeling he was flirting with me. Oh, if that were true, I bet he knows how to please a lover. I swallowed hard and he filled my mug. _I bet that isn't the only thing he knows how to fill._

I'm pretty sure he looked at me with lust filled eyes as he placed my food down in front of me. The ale was really getting to me. "You should eat something." He said as he placed his elbows on the bar and leaned forward.

I lean forward too and tried to think of something smart to say, but between the smell of food and the lustful look in Quatre's eyes, I couldn't quite get something out. "You're food is getting cold."

With a wink he walked away to tend to other customers. I drained the mug of ale and dove into my food. I realized two things. One: I was starving and Two: the food wasn't going to counteract the ale that was already in my system. Oh well, might as well go all out.

I ate slowly and drank fast, so by the time most of the other patrons had either left or adjourned to their rooms in the tavern, I was flying high with a sated hunger. For food that it. I wasn't so far gone though that I wouldn't be able to perform, should I find myself in that position.

Quatre approached me after tidying up the pub and leaned against the bar. "So?"

"So." I repeated like an idiot. "So, I think we should get married."

His golden brows arched and an amused smile caressed his delectable lips. "Hum, as sweet as that proposition is, I have no wish to get married. I have everything I want without doing so." He stepped close so his thigh touched my knee. "But…" He leaned so close that I could feel the heat off his skin, smell the sweet scent of port on his breath and his lips brushing my ear. "…if you like to…" I felt his hand on my chest and then it slowly slide down to my waist. "…linger. I'll tie a silk strand around my finger…" He wiggles his pinky finger. "…and as you walk by, pull the strand and I'll come and get you. But tonight isn't good, tomorrow after we close."

I nod my head, only able to think about the beautiful man that stood so close to me. He brushed my neck with his lips, backed away and went back to work. "You should go to sleep." He said with a wink that went straight to my groin.

Obediently, I went to my room and promptly passed out.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^

The next day couldn't go fast enough. I ate, bathed, shaved and shopped for some new clothes. I felt like a new man. A new man with unfinished business. We were to set sail on the morrow, and I was more than a little anxious.

I returned to the ship to store my packages and just about had a heart attacked when a loud crashing sound came from the captain's cabin followed by a deep voice saying loudly 'Harder 'Ro.' My eyes went wide and, at the same time, the first mate came up from the galley and smirked at the sounds of destructions from the captain's cabin.

"Keep going Barton. The captain doesn't share his treats." My jaw went slack and I just stared at the first mate, who just continued to smirk with amusement. I took that as a sign to continue on and did so. Unfortunately, I found out my hammock was right below the captain's cabin, and the saying 'no rest for the wicked' came to mind. My best bet was to leave and head back to town.

So, I did just that and spent the remainder of the day pub hopping. At the appropriate time I made my way back to the Sandrock and circled around the building hoping that there would indeed be a silk strand for me. I was ecstatic to find that there was, and I gave it a gentle tug. Moments later the strand disappeared and the door opened.

Quatre stood there in the nude, with the silk strand in hand. He threw it over my shoulders and pulled me inside.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^

I stumbled back to the ship the next day sleep deprived and sore, but content. The captain was standing against the door jamb to his cabin chatting to the first mate. We all looked like we had one hell of a night. "So Barton, is this your first time to Yarmouth Town?" All I could do was look at the captain and nod. "How do you like it?" He asked with a lop-sided smirk.

"When do we come back?" The captain and first mate laughed.

"Do you think he's tasted the delights of Yarmouth Town, Chang?" The captain asked.

"I do believe he has sir." The first mate answered.

"They are delicious here." He gave me a lusty look. "We'll be back in three months. You may want to taste some other wares, unless you've found a specific kind to your liking."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I found something to my liking. Have a good day Captain, Chang." I smiled and went below deck until it was time to weigh anchor.

^v^ The End ^v^


	2. Code Monkey

A/N: This is inspired by Jonathan Coulton's song _Code Monkey_. You can find a rather well done AMV of this song using Black Heaven.

Disclaimer: I don't own GW or _Code Monkey_. I am just borrowing them for a bit.

Pairings: 1 & 2 

**Code Monkey**

It was Thursday, and Heero Yuy never seemed to be able to get the hang of Thursdays(1), especially since this Thursday seemed to be starting out worse than the others.

His coffee machine decided that it would finally give up the ghost and water reservoir cracked its entire length so it wouldn't hold water anymore. It didn't matter anyways since he found out that he didn't have enough coffee left to make a cup. Too bad he found this out _after_ he filled the reservoir with water. He did find it out before his counter flooded, but it was a moot point by then.

He took this as a bad omen and decided he would just grab a cup when he got to work. Maybe there would be time to down a quick cup before his review with his obnoxious tool of a boss, Rob, but he doubted it since he'd already blown his extra time cleaning up after his broken coffee machine.

Thankfully, the trip to the office was uneventful. The traffic hadn't been that bad, except for the idiot in a red Porsche who had cut him off as he weaved through traffic. Heero couldn't help but grin, when a traffic cop pulled him over.

The lobby of his building was packed with people trying to get up to their floors and he knew how to queue with the best of them. He stood there while three decently sized elevators filled to the brim and went off to deliver people to their floors. After waiting ten minutes Heero was finally able to make it to his cube where he took off his jacket and pulled his laptop out of his bag, setting it down on its dock.

As his computer booted he caught a glimpse of himself in a window of darkened conference room. He looked like hell. His button down was wrinkled from the cool rain humidity, which also happened to make his already untamable hair stick out in all directions. So much for making a good impression with the boss.

Figuring he had enough time to grab a cup of coffee without actually checking he started for the kitchenette when his blackberry began angrily vibrating at him. Heero dug it out from deep in his bag and looked at it. 'Meeting with Rob' it proclaimed and, with a curse, he pocketed the device, grabbed a small note pad and a pen and went in search of his boss.

Heero found the man in his big luxurious office talking with large animated gestures to someone on the phone. When he saw Heero, he waved him in and motioned for him to close the door and take a seat.

Heero closed the door, sat down, notebook in his lap and hands resting on top. He waited quietly for Rob to finish.

"Good morning, how are you doing today?"

Heero knows Rob doesn't really care how he is, so he answers with what he knows his boss wants to hear. "Fine, and yourself?"

Rob grinned, obviously pleased with his employee's interest in his day. "Just great, thank you." He looked around his desk until he found a stack of papers, which he flashed Heero, signaling that he had found what he was looking for. "So this is your end of the year evaluation Heero. We're going to go over what you said and what I had to add and then I'll just need you to sign it before I submit it to HR."

Heero nodded and waited for Rob to get on with it so he could return to his work. "So Heero, I've been reviewing your work, and the first thing I've noticed is that while you are incredibly diligent, your code isn't really all the functional or elegant. And since the coding is pretty simple, we here at Creatacom are a little confused as to why your output isn't that good. Can you add anything?"

Heero fought back the urge to frown and point out that his boss wouldn't know anything about function or elegance if it hit on the head and he's just pissed off that he couldn't code the simple and _functioning_ login page he had just submitted for a protected intranet site. "No, I can't.

Rob frowned and made a note on a separate piece of paper. "So where do you see yourself going from here Heero?"

He didn't have to think. "I'd like to be assigned some more challenging assignments."

His boss looked dismayed. "Heero with your current performance, I can't conscientiously assign you anything more challenging than what you are doing. Maybe, if you showed us that you were dedicated to doing the best on the projects you are currently working on, we could re-evaluate your request." Heero just nodded because he was too proud to beg to be given a chance.

"Anything else to add?" Heero shook his head 'no.' "Very well, here's a copy of your review to sign and one for you to keep. If you have any questions feel free to ask me."

Heero signed the appropriate copy, took his and left his boss' office. Now, he could get coffee. As he rounded the corner into the kitchenette, he stopped dead and at the sight of a person with a long chestnut braid that fell past broad shoulders, a perfectly tapered waist and an ever more perfect ass, staring blanking into the refrigerator. Heero wasn't sure if he had to the ability to deal with the man right now.

But he had to deal with the man if he wanted coffee, because having the refrigerator door open blocked access to the coffee machine. Heero cleared his throat and the man jumped, closed the door and turned around. "Heya Heero." The man said with a large smile and a twinkle in his amethyst colored eyes.

Heero swallowed hard and responded. "Hi Duo."

"Ya need the coffee machine?" Heero nodded and Duo moved out of the way.

"What were you looking for?" Heero got up the nerve to ask the other man.

"Oh, I thought I had something to drink in the fridge, but I can't find it."

"I've got some soda in there if you want it."

Duo smiled at his co-worker. "Thanks for the offer, but soda makes me fat."

Heero raised an eyebrow and Duo started to wave his hands in protest. "Oh, no man, sorry. I didn't mean to say you were fat."

"It is diet and I think you'd still look good in the shirt if you indulged every once and a while." Heero immediately regretted his words and Duo turned bright red.

They stood there in silence while Heero took the opportunity to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"I'm sorry, that was inappropriate."

"Ah, that's ok. I forgot to do laundry and this was the only semi dress shirt I had left. I was hoping no one would notice." The shirt was a short sleeve black button down, but that is where its similarities with a work shirt ended. Heero couldn't help but notice that it clung to his co-worker's perfect frame in an incredibly distracting way.

"Hn." Heero nodded and his Blackberry started vibrating.

"Looks like you've got a call, I'll catch ya later Heero." Duo said and bolted while Heero fished out his phone. By the time he was able to answer it the call had already kicked to voice mail. He made his way back to his desk, with coffee in hand to check his messages.

The rest of the day was a waste. He worked a little, stared at the screen a lot, contemplated trying to find a new job and was overall unproductive. He thought a lot about what he was going to do on the weekend. Maybe he'd treat himself to a coffee cake from the bakery by his house. And maybe he would actually use the Jacuzzi bathtub he had.

At five Heero started to get ready to go home. He'd had enough of this place for one day and really needed to get out of there.

"Hey Heero?" Heero stopped pulling on his jacket on and looked at Duo who stood at the entrance to his cube looking nervous.

"Duo?" He shrugged his coat on the rest of the way.

The man with the long hair and exotic eyes walked in and stood close enough for Heero to smell the feint scent of the other man's shampoo. "How many sick days do you have?" He asked quietly.

"Too many." Heero replied and waited to see where Duo was headed.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing."

Duo grinned. "Well if you want to, I was planning to do nothing tonight too, and I was going to continue doing nothing into tomorrow because I was told I needed to use some of my vacation up. But if you want to join me, I'd be more than glad to not do nothing."

Heero's eyes went wide. "I think I can make it worth your while." Duo smiled and brushed his lips against the other man's. "If you're interested."

Heero grabbed the front of Duo's shirt, pulled him out of the line of any of the security cameras, slipped his fingers through the holes between the buttons and kissed the man like he'd been wanting to for the past few months. "Does that answer the question?"

Duo gave Heero a lop-sided smile. "Oh yeah." The man with the long hair said and pulled Heero in for another kiss. It was at that moment a few things went through Heero's head. One, he was glad they had him in low traffic area, so there was less of chance they'd be caught. Two, work seemed like it might just be a great place to be from then on out. Three, Duo really knew how to kiss.

"I think I feel myself coming down with a fever." Heero mumbled and Duo chuckled before they claimed each other's lips again. And for Heero, Thursday was now his new favorite day.

^v^ The End ^v^

1) tHHGthG by DA


	3. Captain Wedderburn

A/N: Another addition to my procrastination files, though I'm not actually procrastinating. In fact, I was rather productive today. Edited three chapters of College Days and wrote part of a chapter for College Days from the perspective of 5 & 6.

The inspiration for this story comes from the song _Captain Wedderburn_ by Great Big Sea. Lyrics abound online if you google the title.

Many thanks to the most awesome and wonderful Sylenctone for reading what I send to her.

Pairing: 5 & 6

**Captain Wedderburn**

The day was near perfect as Captain Chang Wufei made his way down a narrow cobbled lane away from the hustle and bustle of Sanc's main port. Sea was his home, but every once and a while it was nice to enjoy the different delights that were available on land.

The lane sloped gently up to the town center, so he did not realize right away that he shared the lane with another. A man dressed in clothes that looked to have cost more than the salary of some of his men crested the gentle hill ahead of Chang and began walking down it.

The captain could not help but notice the other man. He was tall, trim and graceful with hair so blond it was almost white. The man reeked of wealth and entitlement, but that did not keep Chang from being immediately drawn to him. He'd been at sea for months and did not have the taste for whoring that some of his sailors had, so he'd gone without any sort of companionship for months and he had to begrudgingly admit to himself that it was starting to make him a little crazy.

The other man stopped a few feet away from Chang, looked at him and smiled. The captain clenched and unclenched his hands as they began to sweat. The man was stunning, not his type at all and well out of his league, but something made him look the other man in the face and say, "My good sir, if it wasn't for the law would you consider a night with me."

A smile crept across the perfect lips of the blond man as he looked Chang over. It was clear that the man liked what he saw and Chang's pulse sped up. "My good Captain…" He paused and Wufei nodded to let him know that he had gotten the title correct. "I am not one to take lovers, but if I do they must be sharp of mind and quite handsome. I can easily see that you are the latter, but if you answer the following six questions, I will also know you are the former."

The man had a melodic baritone voice that penetrated the captain to the core and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to recall his own name if the man spoke further, let alone be able to answer any question that might decide his intellectual level. He nodded and took a deep breath. "Very well then."

The blond grinned and held up one finger. "What is rounder than a ring?" He holds up another finger. "What is higher than a tree?" A third finger. "What is worse than a woman's curse?"

Chang snorted a laugh and raised his brow at that question and the blond man just smiled, held up a fourth finger and continued. "What is deeper than the sea?" A fifth raised. "What bird sings first, which one's best?" He closed his hand and raised his thumb. "And where does the dew first fall?"

"I believe good sir that you posed seven questions, not six." Chang said with a small smirk as he began to feel more comfortable with the situation.

"It could be interpreted that way, but I did not phrase it as two and the subject remains the same. For indeed the question could have only one answer." The man countered a glint of amusement in his bright blue eyes.

"Indeed." He began to tick off fingers. "The earth is rounder than a ring. Heaven is higher than the trees. The devil's curse is worse than a woman's curse and his domain is deeper than the sea."

Chang smirks. "The lark sings first and the thrush sings best. Therefore, I contend that the question is indeed two posed as one. And finally, the earth is where the dew first falls."

"Perfect. Come with me." The blond nodded toward the top of the hill.

"To where?"

"If we are to lie together, we must have some level of trust."

Chang could not argue, so he motioned for the man to lead the way. The other man turned and walked back the way he had come. As they crested the hill a black, unmarked carriage waited and blocked the road. A young man in maroon livery rushed to the door and opened it as they approached. "Home." The man told the coach man as he entered. When he was free of the door Chang entered as well and the youth closed the door behind him, plunging the carriage into near darkness.

"It is a fine day, why not let some light and air in?"

The owner of the carriage chuckled. "I value my privacy." He answered cryptically and Chang wondered what he had just gotten himself into. There was a knock on the side of the carriage and moments later they were moving.

"Your name?"

"Wufei Chang." The man didn't respond and so the captain remained quiet.

He wasn't sure how much time passed while they traveled, but eventually they came to a stop and the door was opened. The blond exited first and motioned for Chang to follow. The moment the sea faring man stepped out he was in awe. "Who are you?" He eyed the other man suspiciously.

The blond merely grinned and walked towards the large open oak doors. As they crossed the threshold the man removed his coat and gloves and handed them off to a waiting servant. "This is my guest, Captain Wufei Chang, please see him settled in a room and bring him a bath and anything else he might need."

"Your majesty." The servant bowed deep and scuttled off to do his master's bidding.

The captain's eyes narrowed and he stepped closer. "Majesty?" He whispered.

"My good captain you have managed to catch the eye of the Crown Prince of Sanc; Milliardo Peacecraft. Now, when you are done, someone will show you were to go. Until then…" The prince cupped the side of the captain's face so that his long finger's curled around the back of the other man's neck and gently kissed him. He slowly pulled back, did not say anything more and walked away.

Seconds later a middle aged man approached Wufei. "If you will follow me sir?"

Wide-eyed Chang followed the man down hallways and upstairs until they reached a room. "James will assist you sir and water will be brought up presently." The man bowed and left then was immediately replaced by a handsome young man with dark brown hair and a smattering of freckles on his cheeks.

"I was instructed to be your valet sir while you visit the palace. I have also been instructed to have your uniform laundered and provide you with clothes until that has been done. Now, if you would sir, I need to get a better idea of what size I need to fetch for you."

Wufei's head spun, but he did as he was asked and removed his jacket, boots and socks then stopped. "I shall wait for the bath to arrive for the rest, I trust that this should be adequate to judge my size."

The young valet looked the captain over with a discerning eye and nodded. "Aye sir, I'll return in a moment." The man departed and Chang sat in a wooded chair by the wall.

After a while, the bath was set up and he took his time to enjoy the hot water. When he finished he felt like a new man, cleaned and refreshed and ready to meet the next challenge. The valet had found clothes that fit him rather well. And in very little time he was clad in super fine rich brown trouser and waist coat, a shirt of fine cream linen and even a pair of shoes that were just a tad on the large side, but not so bad that he would fall flat on his face. He idly wondered where these clothes had come from, since it was clear that the prince was a fair deal taller than he was.

The valet left once and was replaced by yet another servant. "If you will follow me sir."

Chang nodded and brushed his now free flowing silky black hair back behind his ear. The man led him through more hallways and up another flight of stairs until they stood before a large door. The man knocked, waited for an answer and opened and held the door for Wufei.

The prince was in the process of walking to the door as the captain stepped into the room. "We are not to be disturbed unless I call for something." The man nodded and closed the door.

The captain looked around and realized that he was not in any study, but what appeared to be the prince's private chambers. "You were expecting the study?"

"I must confess, I was."

"Are you disappointed?" The man asked with a wry smile and Wufei's dark eyes darted around the regally appointed room and impressive four poster king bed.

"Not in the least."

"Good, for the chaise in my study is most uncomfortable." He grinned. "My dear captain, by the end of this night I am going to make sure that the last place you want to return to is the sea." With that the Prince of Sanc gently grasps both sides of Wufei's face and kissed him like he had never been kissed before.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^

When dawn finally broke consciousness slowly came to Chang Wufei and he couldn't help but smile as strong arms tighten around him. "So, did I lie?"

Chang twisted in the prince's arms. "No, I think not." He admitted with a kiss that was anything but chaste.

"Mmmm, good." The blond prince grinned and with a swift motion, pushed Wufei onto his back and straddled his waist. "Now I think, by the end of the day I will convince you that you want to stay with me." And the prince proceeded to do just that.

^v^ The End ^v^


End file.
